am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
