how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
soo... how was my night?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
