the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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