is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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