drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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