The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
