There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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