So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize