Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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