My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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