A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
