Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
