spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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