I wanna bring you to show and tell
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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