Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
