i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
