i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
