I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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