Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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