Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
