I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
