i permit you to call me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
