oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
