you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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