Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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