i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
