apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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