All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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