thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
