She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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