if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
