I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize