If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
