that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
