Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
