she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
