none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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