Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
