yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
