Im at strip club and am horny
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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