They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
