Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
