my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize