i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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