Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
