At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
