sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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