I'm so fucking centered right now
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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