Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
