we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
