you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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