Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
