this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
