her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
