I just made out with a guy for $7.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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