and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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