therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
