I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
