you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
