You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
