I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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