I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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