who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
