He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
