How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
