so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
