i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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