dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
