i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
