is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
