Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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