I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
