is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Randomize
