so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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