matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
