did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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